And, considering the fact I am still alive and here to write about it, I suppose it turned out okay. 
Here’s the proof:
Doing backflips makes me happy. It brings me joy, actually.
But, to understand why, you first have to understand that:
I wasn’t born with the ability to do backflips.
Now, that part may be obvious, but let me clarify. This wasn’t a talent I developed in elementary school or middle school. I didn’t even learn this magical feat in high school…. Quite the opposite, in fact.
The Strength of our Dreams Determines the Size of our Action
As a young child, I always wanted to be a ninja, with amazing acrobatic skills. I dreamed about it for years, and finally, in the 8th grade, I took massive action on it. I attempted a backflip. In the gym at school, I set up a big foam pit and launched off the bleachers. It was glorious and magnificent… until I landed, on my neck. To say that it hurt was an understatement.
Young & foolish, I decided to try again. Weeks later (after my neck healed) I tried it again. This time, I did it in pool, where I thought the water would be safer. Somehow, I managed to land in a very awkward way that my grandchildren felt… and once again, it hurt. It hurt bad.
No more backflips… I give up. I resign to the thought that I can’t do it. I’m too afraid to even try.
How You Do One Thing… You Do Everything
Fast forward 15 years. I realize that backflips aren’t the only area of my life in which I have fear holding me back. I realize that fear holds me back from chasing after my dreams in so many areas:
- In business, I wasn’t taking risks…. because of fear.
- In relationships, I wasn’t going after what I wanted… because of fear.
- In life, I wasn’t pursuing my passions… all because of fear.
Fear was controlling my life.
Change Is More Than Possible, It’s Necessary
I knew that if I wanted to no longer be controlled by my fear, I needed to change my approach. Like Jim Rohn said:
If you want to amend your errors, you must begin by amending your philosophy.
My philosophy consisted of letting fear hold me back from that which I wanted. That’s a pretty sucky philosophy.
Long story short, I sought out a coach who taught me how to overcome my fear and adopt a philosophy that fear is a green light to take action. With this new mindset, I run in to face my fears, head-on.
And so, at 28 years of age, I decided to be a gymnast. 
Here’s one of my earlier attempts:
Imperfect action is better than perfect procrastination.
Conquering fear... one back flip at a time.
I landed on my head. I hurt my neck. I looked like an idiot. I’m okay with that, because it didn’t stop me this time. I kept moving.
It was a baby step, but it was a step…
- a step in the right direction
- a step in the face of fear
- a step toward my dreams
Now, almost 4 years later, I do backflips. I do them off of park benches, in the grass, on concrete, on first dates, for my nephew, off of cliffs, near, far, with a red fish or with a blue fish, etc. (Okay, maybe the fish part isn’t true, but you get the point)
I do backflips now, to symbolize that fear has no claim on us, except that which we allow. I am happy when I back flip, because I am reminded that I am bigger than my fears.
What is something that you fear?
Will you take action on it today?
I really like who I am, but I recognize that I have a lot of short-comings. Both in the way that I see things (my perception of the world and those in it), and also in the way that I put into practice those beliefs (my application).
When we are wrong in the way that we see things, we are ignorant. (ie: The map is not the territory) When we are wrong in the actions we take, we are in transgression.
Mistakes Are Only Feedback
I like to think of both as missing the mark. The first because we are looking at the wrong target, the second because we are careless or irresponsible in the way that we shoot the bow.
Both are falling short of perfection, but neither need be the end of the world. Instead of seeing our shortcomings as failures, we need to recognize them as feedback.
What Matters Most Is How We Deal With Mistakes
Once we realize that we have fallen short of the mark, we then get to make a choice on how to deal with it. The end result of our choice is always alignment, but the way we go about it has a huge impact on how well it works.
The Common Approach
Justification is about being right. It is the process of making our actions come into harmony with our mindset, by changing the way we see things. This is when we say, “I was justified in doing ABC because so-and-so did XYZ”, or, “anyone would have done the same thing if they were in my situation.”
The basic theme of this approach is that the fault or cause is external. Something outside of our control, so we responded (reacted) to it according to the way we saw it. Justification causes us to change the external to match our actions.
The Road Less Traveled
Sanctification is not about “being right”, but about making it right. This is when we are willing to see the situation through an objective mind and accept responsibility. We swallow our pride and say: “What I did was wrong, and I’m willing to own up to it, and make it right. I am going to change not only actions, but my mindset. I will honestly examine my mindset & my beliefs so that I won’t repeat this same pattern in the future.” Sanctification causes us to change our actions & perceptions to match what is right.
The Choice Is Ours
Justification is a never-ending cycle that gets us the same thing over and over again. Because we are continually selling out our integrity to cover up our mistakes, it’s like changing our course to follow a star that is moving in the horizon.
“Insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting a different result.” ~ Albert Einstein
Sanctification, however, is a process of growth. It is asking “what in me is causing this to happen?”, followed by “How can I chance MYSELF so that this won’t happen again?” It forces us to be humble enough to accept responsibility for the entire situation, whether it is our fault or not. It might not be my fault, but it is my responsibility is the motto of the proactive person.
The world is filled with opportunities for your growth… will you take them?
I’m not perfect, not even close.
I really like who I am, but I recognize that I have a lot of short-comings. Both in the way that I see things (my perception of the
world and those in it), and also in the way that I put into practice those beliefs (my application).
When we are wrong in the way that we see things, this is ignorance. (ie: The map is not the territory) When we are wrong in the actions we
take, this is transgression.
I like to think of both as missing the mark. The first because we are looking at the wrong target, the second because we are careless
or irresponsible in the way that we shoot the bow.
Both are falling short of perfection, but neither need be the end of the world. Instead of seeing our shortcomings as failures, we
need to recognize them as feedback.
What Matters Most Is How We Deal with It
Once we realize that we have fallen short of the mark, we then get to make a choice on how to deal with it. The end result of our
choice is always alignment, but the way we go about it has a huge impact on how well it works.
The common approach
Justification is about being right. It is the process of making our actions come into harmony with our mindset, by changing the way
we see things. This is when we say, “I was justified in doing ABC because so-and-so did XYZ”, or, “anyone would have done the same
thing if they were in my situation.”
The basic theme of this approach is that the fault or cause is external. Something outside of our control, so we responded (reacted)
to it according to the way we saw it. Justification causes us to change the external to match our actions.
The Road Less Traveled
Sanctification is not about “being right”, but about making it right. This is when we are willing to see the situation through an
objective mind and accept responsibility. We swallow our pride and say: “What I did was wrong, and I’m willing to own up to it, and
make it right. I am going to change not only actions, but my mindset. I will honestly examine my mindset & my beliefs so that I won’t
repeat this same pattern in the future.” Sanctification causes us to change our actions & perceptions to match what is right.
The Choice Is Ours
Justification is a never-ending cycle that gets us the same thing over and over again. (insanity is doing the same thing over and over
again and expecting a different result. OR, in other words, seeing the problem as the situation: “if i was with a person who ABC,
then…”, “the problem is cause by the economy, the weather, the actions of other people, etc”.
Sanctification is a process of growth. It is asking “what in me is causing this to happen?” Followed by “How can I chance MYSELF so
that this won’t happen again?” It forces us to be humble enough to accept responsibility for the entire situation, whether it is our
fault or not. It might not be my fault, but it is my responsibility is the motto of the proactive person.
But, like Peter, I have been blessed to learn a lot through my apparent failings. I can’t say for sure whether I have learned more than I have failed, but I can say with certainty that I don’t regret getting wet along the way. This past year has been one of the sweetest successes and the most challenging heartache, but I wouldn’t trade or change ANY of it for all the world. Each experience has made an indelible impression on my spirit and I believe that each has been a part of my purpose for being alive.
I hope that some of what I learned this year, by living life all-in, may be of value to you as well. Perhaps it can help you to stay above water a little longer than I did. Here are some of the highlights of what I have been learning:
- God will show us what is possible in our lives, it’s up to us to believe and to receive.
- If it was bad at the time, find a way to make it good now.
- If it was good at the time, find a way to let it still be good now.
- Assumptions have the power to hurt everyone involved
- Drama and tension doesn’t occur between people, only within them.
- Love is always worth it, whatever IT is.
- There are no problems that can’t be solved, no solutions that can’t be found.
- It takes strength:
- to admit when you’re wrong
- to re-examine your beliefs about reality
- to forgive others
- to listen deeply
- If something that someone else says or does upsets me, it says more about me than it does them.
- The amount of love & compassion that I can extend to others is limited by only one thing… the love & compassion that I extend to myself.
Perhaps the greatest lesson, though, is this:
Despite my obvious weaknesses, I have not failed in anything. I have only had learning experiences that refine my character and allow me to grow into the full expression of who I truly am.
Thank you for being a part of my 2009. I hope that the lessons that I am learning might also help you to live life “all-in” and receive what is possible for your life in the year ahead.
What have you learned this past year?