3 Ways to Deal with Challenge or Conflict

It isn’t rare that we have challenges or conflicts in dealing with others. But perhaps rare, is an empowered approach to dealing with those situations.

The truth is that each moment of every single day provides the opportunity for us to make an empowered choice and move closer to the full expression of our divine nature. The more difficult the situation, the greater the growth will be. That is, the harder it is for us to make the change, the more it is worth it. Just like building muscles, building character happens the most when we push our limits and create new ones.

That being said, here are 3 options that we can face when dealing with challenging situations:

  1. Why is this happening to me? Or, “why did they do XYZ to me?” Where XYZ = lying, stealing, controlling, getting upset, ignoring, etc.This approach focuses on the circumstance entirely. It focuses on “what happened” or “is happening”,  but is also limited to and by our perception of the circumstance.  This attitude of viewing the problem as “out there” indicates that we are reacting to the situation, and placing the blame on anything except for ourselves.  This is a very normal reaction, and very understandable when we examine the situation with our eyes, but the problem is that the focus is on things outside of our circle of control.
  2. What did I do to cause this to happen to me? This is the more responsible way of dealing with the circumstance.The responsible person will acknowledge that the circumstances in their life are directly, or at the very least indirectly, influenced by their own actions, and they accept responsibility for it.  This person will say “I know that this other person made me upset, but what did I say or do to cause them to do so?”When we accept that “I am the master of my fate” we are able to see how we can influence every circumstance in our life, and we start to put our focus on things that are inside of our circle of control.  We move beyond seeing with just our eyes, and start to perceive with our mind as well.The only limitation, however, is that this approach is still dealing with the circumstance
  3. In what way is this a reflection of what is going on inside me? This is moving beyond responsibility to accountability.To step into this level requires a belief that all things work together for our good. It also requires us to look at the situation with more than our eyes and our mind put together. It requires us to look at things with a spiritual mindset.This spiritual approach leads us to examine ourselves at a deep level, and to evaluate our subconscious beliefs to find an answer.  We begin to say “I am the cause of all that happens in my life.”  This isn’t about fault or blame, it’s about recognizing that we are divine in our nature, and that everything that happens in our world is for the purpose of drawing us closer to our divine potential.This attitude leads us to drop all of the “out there” thoughts of the external situation and realize that perception is reality.  Our perception of ourselves is reflected back to us in everyone that we meet. Our deep-rooted beliefs about the world are continually validated back to us in the situations we create.

    When we adopt this attitude, we are empowered and become “the captain of my soul”.  We are no longer concerned with circumstance, but focus our efforts ONLY on those things which are entirely within our circle of control.  We let go of the past and live in the present moment.

What situations are you struggling with right now? In what ways are the people around you “making things difficult” for you?  What drives you crazy about your boss, spouse, child, etc?

Make a list of those things and ask yourself the question, “In what way is this a reflection of what is going on inside of me?”  Do it honestly and introspectively. Take a pen & paper, and most importantly, take your time.